Been a long time, things have gotten interesting at the job. Lay offs are coming. Not a stretch to say that everybody has been affected by layoffs in the past year; whether it is a loved one or at your job, layoffs are everywhere, thankfully this post is not about layoffs.
Its about Bacon. It seems vegetarians have devised a clever weapon in their fight against bacon. They have created this panic around bacon in hopes that they relentless thrashing they take from bacon daily. Last I checked it was Bacon: 1,763,926,746,119 Vegetarians: 0. It is an accepted standard that Bacon will have earned another thousand victories over vegetarians worldwide by the time you are finished reading this post.
The weapon I am speaking of is the supposedly highly fatal swine flu. For a good week or two humanity was collectively soiling its britches over this new killer. People stopped going to Mexico! That is a lot of middle aged housewives and horny teenagers deciding that it isn't worth cheap legal and illegal narcotics.
Also Egypt took great caution when it came to the Swine Flu. It was reported that the government ordered all Pigs slaughtered and burned as to eliminate the chance of any outbreak. Even though it is not actually transmitted from Pig to Human.
Turns out the "Swine" flu is no worse and actually less dangerous-more people will day of the common flu this year than Swine flu and is treated with fluids and rest. One of the "Swine" flu deaths in Mexico was from a woman who contracted the disease from her middle aged son. The woman died about a week after contracting the virus. She was 98 years old! Nobody thought that she might have possibly died because she was an old sack of bones?
This is the first blow of any kind that Vegetarians have dealt to bacon in the thousands of years that the war has been raging on. However; they will not be awarded a whole point for the victory because of the deceitful nature that they went about it. So here is the official update. Bacon: 1,763,926,747,119 Vegetarians: .75!
It is actually VERY impressive that even in the face of a global panic Bacon has taken the biggest right hook it could have been dealt and it hopped right back up. Given humanities unmatchable capacity for panic this can not be overlooked. GO BACON!
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Friday, March 6, 2009
I don't even know what this is about
So now that I'm a full time employee I've gotten a lot busier (I'm learning Chinese) and haven't had the energy to share my stories. That makes me sad.
Go here and check out my friend Jamie's blog. Interesting take from a girl trying to make it in the big city. Contrast it with my sis-in-law's blog and you've got both sides of the spectrum covered.
Side note about my Sister-In-Law's blog. If you didn't come to my Blog from her's then you need to know its all about her kids. It is because of her son that it will appear that I will live for an unbelievably long time, because somehow at 3.5 he looks more like me than I did when I was 3.5! Also her daughter hates me because I refused to hold her as an infant because I thought she was too fragile for me to handle. I hope some day she will be able to recognize this kind act as something that contributed to her success in life.
A few realization I've had over the past two weeks...
I've never met a Japanese person who is remotely close to being rude or a jerk. They are the nicest people I've ever met; so polite! I think the closest is one of my best friends Marcos (His name is actually Marcus but...you know what I'll save that for the next post.) but he's half German so its a push. But his Mother (Full blood Japanese) is an absolute sweetheart!
In Japan a Corn Dog is called an "American Dog" and the Japanese that I know love 'em! I also am told that they are 50 times better in America.
Chinese is hard!
Now that my birthday is creeping up I'm realizing I never thought I would ever be 25. Until now, a week and a half before my 25 birthday I was never able to picture myself as 25. It is kind of tripping me out that at 25 I'm feeling the same as I did at 21. The only difference is that I have a college degree, a job, and drink less Busch Light. (Yes, I said "less")
Go here and check out my friend Jamie's blog. Interesting take from a girl trying to make it in the big city. Contrast it with my sis-in-law's blog and you've got both sides of the spectrum covered.
Side note about my Sister-In-Law's blog. If you didn't come to my Blog from her's then you need to know its all about her kids. It is because of her son that it will appear that I will live for an unbelievably long time, because somehow at 3.5 he looks more like me than I did when I was 3.5! Also her daughter hates me because I refused to hold her as an infant because I thought she was too fragile for me to handle. I hope some day she will be able to recognize this kind act as something that contributed to her success in life.
A few realization I've had over the past two weeks...
I've never met a Japanese person who is remotely close to being rude or a jerk. They are the nicest people I've ever met; so polite! I think the closest is one of my best friends Marcos (His name is actually Marcus but...you know what I'll save that for the next post.) but he's half German so its a push. But his Mother (Full blood Japanese) is an absolute sweetheart!
In Japan a Corn Dog is called an "American Dog" and the Japanese that I know love 'em! I also am told that they are 50 times better in America.
Chinese is hard!
Now that my birthday is creeping up I'm realizing I never thought I would ever be 25. Until now, a week and a half before my 25 birthday I was never able to picture myself as 25. It is kind of tripping me out that at 25 I'm feeling the same as I did at 21. The only difference is that I have a college degree, a job, and drink less Busch Light. (Yes, I said "less")
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
No Points for Remembering
My anniversary is only two and a half weeks before Valentine's Day so it helps me stay focused and not forget. When all the Valentine's Day marketing kicks in (December 26th) I know to start thinking about Anniversary.
I have gone to great lengths to ensure I will never forget my anniversary. First I have it posted on my Google calendar, scheduled to repeat annually, and it sends me an email every day leading up to my anniversary for four days. It is also a recurring event on my work calendar and it alerts me the day before and the day of. And finally it is in my phone and alerts me two days before, one day before and the day of. Needless to say my bases are covered.
Our anniversary was on a Tuesday this year and we had gotten away the weekend before to celebrate. We had agreed on a budget for our anniversary and I that we would exchange gifts and cards on the actual day. Tuesday morning rolls around and my wife wakes me up at 5am to say goodbye. She's crazy she gets up that early to go to the gym before work, and I'm crazy enough to let her wake me up to say goodbye, normally this is not an issue because I'm hardly coherent enough to care. Most of the time I tell her good night, or physically push her or slap her arms away, as has happened on a few occasions. I never remember what I say or do, she fills me in when she gets home from work.
On Tuesday morning I had the awareness to say happy anniversary and bring her in for a big hug. I was so freaking happy that I remembered. I can't begin to tell you what a relief it was to have that not hovering over me all day. The pressure that would have caused to be sure that the first words I say to her when she gets home were "Happy Anniversary" is immeasurable.
During the day I had multiple conversations about how it was my anniversary with my coworkers. I even wrote my wife an email wishing her happy Anniversary just to be sure that what I believed to have happened this morning wasn't a hallucination.
When she walked in the door from work my first words to her were "Happy Anniversary" I was so pumped. Unbelievable relief that I had made it, remembered my anniversary; I was patting myself on the back so hard. After she had been home for about 30 minutes she walked out fo the bedroom and handed me a card...
I had been so focused on remembering the day, and in my excitement for my success of remembering the significance of the day I had completely failed to pick up a card and flowers. Needless to say there was nothing that could be done to relieve the disappointment that I had in myself, let alone her disappointment. Running over to Fred Meyer and getting a card and some flowers would have only made it worse. I to bear down and take my licks on this one, and believe me I'm still taking them and I deserve them. I have learned a valuable valuable lesson...A successful anniversary is about more than just remembering; follow through.
I made it up for her on Valentine's day, she got flowers the day before and the day of Valentine's day and a card. I even sat through a estrogen powered movie "He's Just Not That Into You" fitting as I was not into it all, but I was very into redeeming my monumental screw up.
I will say this for the movie, while it failed to show any kind of redeemable qualities as far as entertainment value for me. The droves of sappy "I talk to the characters in movies really loud" women that surrounded me made the price of admission totally worth it. It was a movie that exaggerate stereotypes, more than usual for Hollywood, and there were many many women in that theater that outed themselves as just as crazy as the characters who were carefully crafted to come off as desperate and crazy as possible. Is the female demographic not the easiest demographic to reach? That being said you flash anything that remotely looks like cleavage and you've penetrated the male demographic so its pretty much a wash.
Ladies and Gentleman, you're world in 2009. 2bro2b?
I have gone to great lengths to ensure I will never forget my anniversary. First I have it posted on my Google calendar, scheduled to repeat annually, and it sends me an email every day leading up to my anniversary for four days. It is also a recurring event on my work calendar and it alerts me the day before and the day of. And finally it is in my phone and alerts me two days before, one day before and the day of. Needless to say my bases are covered.
Our anniversary was on a Tuesday this year and we had gotten away the weekend before to celebrate. We had agreed on a budget for our anniversary and I that we would exchange gifts and cards on the actual day. Tuesday morning rolls around and my wife wakes me up at 5am to say goodbye. She's crazy she gets up that early to go to the gym before work, and I'm crazy enough to let her wake me up to say goodbye, normally this is not an issue because I'm hardly coherent enough to care. Most of the time I tell her good night, or physically push her or slap her arms away, as has happened on a few occasions. I never remember what I say or do, she fills me in when she gets home from work.
On Tuesday morning I had the awareness to say happy anniversary and bring her in for a big hug. I was so freaking happy that I remembered. I can't begin to tell you what a relief it was to have that not hovering over me all day. The pressure that would have caused to be sure that the first words I say to her when she gets home were "Happy Anniversary" is immeasurable.
During the day I had multiple conversations about how it was my anniversary with my coworkers. I even wrote my wife an email wishing her happy Anniversary just to be sure that what I believed to have happened this morning wasn't a hallucination.
When she walked in the door from work my first words to her were "Happy Anniversary" I was so pumped. Unbelievable relief that I had made it, remembered my anniversary; I was patting myself on the back so hard. After she had been home for about 30 minutes she walked out fo the bedroom and handed me a card...
I had been so focused on remembering the day, and in my excitement for my success of remembering the significance of the day I had completely failed to pick up a card and flowers. Needless to say there was nothing that could be done to relieve the disappointment that I had in myself, let alone her disappointment. Running over to Fred Meyer and getting a card and some flowers would have only made it worse. I to bear down and take my licks on this one, and believe me I'm still taking them and I deserve them. I have learned a valuable valuable lesson...A successful anniversary is about more than just remembering; follow through.
I made it up for her on Valentine's day, she got flowers the day before and the day of Valentine's day and a card. I even sat through a estrogen powered movie "He's Just Not That Into You" fitting as I was not into it all, but I was very into redeeming my monumental screw up.
I will say this for the movie, while it failed to show any kind of redeemable qualities as far as entertainment value for me. The droves of sappy "I talk to the characters in movies really loud" women that surrounded me made the price of admission totally worth it. It was a movie that exaggerate stereotypes, more than usual for Hollywood, and there were many many women in that theater that outed themselves as just as crazy as the characters who were carefully crafted to come off as desperate and crazy as possible. Is the female demographic not the easiest demographic to reach? That being said you flash anything that remotely looks like cleavage and you've penetrated the male demographic so its pretty much a wash.
Ladies and Gentleman, you're world in 2009. 2bro2b?
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