Monday, May 11, 2009

Quick Update

Important news flash! My niece has a 11 toes. That isn't the big news; I noticed this the first time I held her, I thought it was freaking awesome then, and I find it even more awesome now. The news is that apparently it is genetic and since she is my brother's daughter that makes my brother a carrier, and since I am my brother's...brother...I'm a carrier. Slowly it is sinking in that I GOT ROBBED! I got an 11th toe in me somewhere and I plan on doing my best to grow it.

Live Long and Prosper!

I'm not a Trekkie but I had to put that there in the hopes that my Manager, a Star Wars fanatic would see it and become agitated because once I made the assumption that since she liked Star Wars that she would at least tolerate Star Trek. I was very wrong and she became very upset that I would even consider them to be on the same level.

Geena, Are we still on for the Vulcan Mind Melding during lunch tomorrow?

Sunday, May 10, 2009

GO BACON!

Been a long time, things have gotten interesting at the job. Lay offs are coming. Not a stretch to say that everybody has been affected by layoffs in the past year; whether it is a loved one or at your job, layoffs are everywhere, thankfully this post is not about layoffs.

Its about Bacon. It seems vegetarians have devised a clever weapon in their fight against bacon. They have created this panic around bacon in hopes that they relentless thrashing they take from bacon daily. Last I checked it was Bacon: 1,763,926,746,119 Vegetarians: 0. It is an accepted standard that Bacon will have earned another thousand victories over vegetarians worldwide by the time you are finished reading this post.

The weapon I am speaking of is the supposedly highly fatal swine flu. For a good week or two humanity was collectively soiling its britches over this new killer. People stopped going to Mexico! That is a lot of middle aged housewives and horny teenagers deciding that it isn't worth cheap legal and illegal narcotics.

Also Egypt took great caution when it came to the Swine Flu. It was reported that the government ordered all Pigs slaughtered and burned as to eliminate the chance of any outbreak. Even though it is not actually transmitted from Pig to Human.

Turns out the "Swine" flu is no worse and actually less dangerous-more people will day of the common flu this year than Swine flu and is treated with fluids and rest. One of the "Swine" flu deaths in Mexico was from a woman who contracted the disease from her middle aged son. The woman died about a week after contracting the virus. She was 98 years old! Nobody thought that she might have possibly died because she was an old sack of bones?

This is the first blow of any kind that Vegetarians have dealt to bacon in the thousands of years that the war has been raging on. However; they will not be awarded a whole point for the victory because of the deceitful nature that they went about it. So here is the official update. Bacon: 1,763,926,747,119 Vegetarians: .75!

It is actually VERY impressive that even in the face of a global panic Bacon has taken the biggest right hook it could have been dealt and it hopped right back up. Given humanities unmatchable capacity for panic this can not be overlooked. GO BACON!